It's just like a game, battling
by Mitsikusji
Summary: Unohana starts questioning Zaraki about Yachiru and gets a response she hadn't expected. This story is a one shot


It's just like a game, battling

This story is a one-shot. Characters: Zaraki Kenpachi and Retsu Unohana.

* * *

'Don't offence me, Zaraki,' Unohana said, resting her head against the cold wall. 'I'm not stupid, and neither are you,' she laid looking at the 11th division captain, who was sitting opposite of her with his eyes closed and his hand resting on his blood-stained zanpakuto.

'You know,' she said, 'I've been wondering about how your fukutaicho is able to cope with this dangerous situation, given her age. The way she acts,… it's like she doesn't fear death. That's a rare thing you know.'

'Really?,' he said, keeping his eyes closed. 'Good for you.'

'She was with you the day you became captain, if I remember correctly. Zaraki is the name of the 80th and poorest district. You chose to give yourself that name because you came from there. Since Yachiru's second name is 'Kusajishi', the name of the 79th district, I reckon that's where she comes from, am I not right?'

'Che, you should be captain of the 12th division, you're a genius Unohana-taicho,' he said looking at her with his typical shark-smile.

'It pleases me you're taking the effort of using my title.'

'Bullshit.'

'If you value any of my medical treatment I would cut down on the use of improper words when we are having a conversation, Zaraki-taicho.' Something about that sentence seemed to amuse Kenpachi since he chuckled faintly. Now Unohana had carefully approached the subject she wanted to talk about, she felt it was time to get to the point.

'Anyhow, you do realize Yachiru hasn't grown up in a suitable environment, don't you? And that she never will be in such an environment if she keeps being with you, unless you change your ways? You told here she could play with that arrancar. **Play**. So when you let Yachiru kill someone you see that as a _game_? You realize that most father-figures wouldn't let their 'daughter' kill someone saying it's a game, don't you?'

Kenpachi smiled at that comment. He started getting irritated, although he didn't dislike the captain. She could be just as nasty as him, but not on a blunt but on a gentle, clever way. He liked that.

'Woman, have you got any idea from what 'environment' Yachiru comes from?,' he said with a loud voice. 'Have you even got _any_ idea how much blood spilling that girl has witnessed with her own eyes?,' he kept his eyes closed but his voice was raising.

'Have you even got the faintest idea how it is to not know where you're going too?' He squinted his eyes, being able to experience that feeling of hopelessness again. 'Where the only thing to do is, just simply, surviving?'

He opened his eyes but didn't look at her, but at his zanpakuto, tightening his grip on the sword. Tightening it, and pushing his teeth together.

'Is it really _that _hard to understand that the only goal for us was to _survive_? S_urvive_, and _survive_ means to _fight_! In a world where everything's about the strong and the weak you've got no choice but to fight! There was nothing else for us to do depart from fighting! THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY TO ESCAPE ZARAKI! WHO WOULD SHE HAVE TURNED INTO IF SHE KNEW THIS WASN'T A GAME?! IF SHE KNEW WE **COULD** HAVE BEEN DEAD THE NEXT DAY! IS IT REALLY THAT HARD FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND I TOLD HER THAT ALL OF IT IS JUST A FUCKING GAME!'

He was breathing heavily and closed his eyes again. He felt the despair again, the struggling, that feeling that he was no one but a nameless, meaningless stranger. It hurt. As if a sword was slowly being pushed into his chest. When he opened his eyes again he was surprised to see captain Unohana. At that moment he realized he had gotten to sucked up in his own words. Words that he had never spoken out loud before.

'I understand,' she said and laid her head back, causing her to look up instead of at Kenpachi. She knew she was doing him a favour by not looking at him right now.

'I understand. Back then life for you and Yachiru was too dangerous to treasure. You've come from a place were you could easily have died. No wonder you learned not to treasure life or any aspects of it, just see it as 'a game', so it wouldn't really matter that much if you would have lost. If you would have died…'

Zaraki angrily turned his head away from her.

'Can I ask you something, Kenpachi?,' she said and he looked at her with surprised open eyes because she used his first name.

'Don't die, will you?'

It wasn't something he had expected her so say. He didn't know how to reply, and saw how she was getting up, ready to walk away.

'Why? Do you not want me to… _die_?'

'Oh no, captain, I didn't say _I_ don't want you to die. It's just that, if you would die, I don't think Yachiru would be able to comprehend it. That's all,' she said and she solemnly walked away. Though somewhere inside she couldn't help but feel that Yachiru wasn't the only one who couldn't imagine this man to die. She herself couldn't either.


End file.
